Here are some of the realizations and choices that helped me release my anxiety, along with how I put them into practice. Anxiety can have many different causes, but perhaps something from my experience will be helpful to you:
1. Remember that good enough is the new perfect.
I have always tried to be the best in everything I’ve done, and this has led to a huge amount of anger and stress. I decided that it was okay to let go from time to time. I didn’t have to get nervous for every exam; I didn’t have to win all the time. It was okay just to play the game.
Doing this, I also managed to develop better friendships and relationships. I discovered that my “I want to win everything” attitude was placing everyone on an enemy position.
When you focus less on being the best, you release the pressure you’ve put on yourself.
2. Stop multitasking.
Although this may not seem to have anything to do with anxiety, it’s related. I used to do a lot of things at the same time: work, check my phone, answer emails, make small talk with somebody, and so on.
These interruptions made me lose track of where I was standing, and those times when you feel lost are a great place for anxiety to settle in.
Focus on one thing at a time and be mindful in that one activity, and you’ll naturally feel less anxious.
3. Stop avoiding things that you don’t like.
I was always afraid of going to crowded places, such as supermarkets and malls. I’d tell myself, “This time it’s okay not to go. Next time you’ll feel more confident.”
But that never happened. The next time I had to face the situation, my body knew that the previous time, I had let fear win. So instead of dealing with the feelings in one situation, I had to deal with feelings from two.
Now, instead of avoiding things, I always say to myself when I am scared: “This is the best time to face my fear! Bring it on!”
Don’t hide from the unavoidable situations that make you anxious; little by little, condition yourself to work through your feelings.
4. Find a passion that calms you.
I noticed that in periods of great stress I seemed to have nothing to enjoy. Friends were telling me to take a day off or do something I like, but I was having a hard time finding things I liked.
During these days I’d sit in by bed, turning from one side to another, and then return to work more tired than I was when I left.
One day I remembered that, as a kid, I had a dream of running every morning before everybody woke up.
After a month of daily runs I can say that I feel awesome. Whenever I feel anxious I picture myself running, take a few deep breaths, and I calm myself down instantly.
5. Focus on the things that you can control.
In the past, I often complained about not feeling well. I was convinced that I was ill, even though I had lots of medical tests all stating that I was healthy. The symptoms that I encountered were dizziness, lightheadedness, and tensions all over my body.
As frightening as these were at the time, I realized that it was my obsession with control that was causing them. I was always asking myself: “Am I feeling well?“
In worrying about the symptom, it became real.
I’ve learned that I cannot control my body. I can only control my thoughts—but my thoughts directly influence how I feel physically. Now and then when I feel dizzy, I take a moment to ask myself, “Am I causing this by worrying?”
6. See anxiety as an opportunity.
In retrospect, I see that anxiety was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It was when I felt anxious that I knew that I had to make changes—with my approach to my work, my passions, and my mindset.
Anxiety goes away only when we learn what it’s teaching us. That is when we can move on.